Milhomme Realty Group, LLC | From the Broker's Desk

By Brenda Milhome A Tragedy That Should Never Have Happened The death of 14-year-old Kylie Toberman in Vandalia, Illinois, has devastated an entire community. According to multiple news outlets, Kylie was reported missing early Friday morning and later found deceased. A 43-year-old man with a long criminal history, identified as her step-uncle, has been arrested on charges of first-degree murder, criminal sexual assault, and concealing a homicide (KMOV, 2025). This tragedy is heartbreaking on its face—but even more tragic when we recognize that this was not an unpredictable event. It was a system failure , decades in the making. The Warning Signs Were Always There Public records reported by news outlets show that the suspect’s criminal history dates back to 2000 , including dismissed charges of criminal sexual abuse involving a minor between the ages of 9 and 16 (Fox News, 2025). These charges were dropped in exchange for a plea to aggravated battery. For that plea? He rece...

Author’s Note The reflections shared here come from a lifetime of observations, experiences, studies, and quiet conversations that have shaped my understanding of trauma, relationships, safety, and healing. While elements may echo familiar patterns to some, this piece is not a portrait of any one individual, nor is it meant to recount specific events from any single relationship or period in time. Sometimes the quietest spaces hold the loudest truths. An empty classroom can feel haunting when you think about how many future adults are shaped in rooms just like it — long before they have the language to describe what they’re experiencing at home.